Talkin' 'bout my mo-tivation

Or should I say, UNmotivation. Exhausted just doesn't go far enough to describe how incredibly tired I have been feeling lately. I went to bed at 7 pm last night with the kids, took an hour nap today, and I'm STILL tired. SEVEN O'CLOCK. It's ridiculous actually. I have zero motivation to do anything, as I watch everything pile up around me. I really, REALLY wish Sadie would start STTN. Really, REALLY wish she would. She's had some better nights, a few where I only had to get up with her once, but it's been MONTHS since I've had a good night's sleep. I'm thinking maybe, October?!? Boo. I just want energy again. I'll have a good day here or there and get a lot accomplished, but then I'm completely worn out again. I'm sure the breastfeeding is draining most of my energy, and whatever is left is absorbed by answering a bazillion questions for Ben every day. This week though, I finally started to wonder if maybe I'm sick or getting sick. I've been insanely overtired, and nothing I do seems to help. I don't know how much longer I can function feeling so crappy.

Politics as usual

I've been part of a playgroup for 3 years now. I met some of my closest mom friends by being a part of this group, and it's been a great way to keep active as a SAHM. But, as with any group you are involved in, the same 'ol, same 'ol gets old after awhile. I feel like I've outgrown the group and it definitely isn't the same as it used to be. Most of my closest friends moved on a long time ago (for a variety of reasons) and there are only a couple of people left that I even feel like talking to (sounds bad, I know). The same scenarios and issues seem to recycle themselves ALL the time and it just gets old. I know this problem isn't unique to this group, but I'm just done with it, you know? I'm left with really only one mom that I'm still close with, and she's going back to work in the fall. There doesn't seem to be any kids left for Ben either, especially because once school starts, not only are all those kids in school, but so is Ben (at the same time as most of the playdates). I'm just done. I find myself dreading playgroup everytime I go, when I used to LOVE going. I used to go to almost all the events, and now I have to force myself to fit in my one per month. GAH!!! Without going into many details, because I think everyone can read between the lines here, I also am finding that I don't want Ben around a lot of the kids in there either. :::backs out of thoughts slowly:::

So, my feeling out of place over time has put me in the position of broadening my horizons for other playgroup opportunities. I even tried starting one of my own, which was a total bust. One playgroup I tried (twice), seemed like a good fit. Lots of activities, especially for the younger crowd (which Ben was at the time), and moms that actually enjoyed being moms (a concept that feels non-existent in present group). It was fun for awhile, but the group was HUGE. I got "kicked out" because I spent the night in labor and delivery and didn't change my RSVP.
True story.
Ok, ok, I wasn't actually THROWN OUT, but I got a nasty form email reprimanding me for not changing my RSVP for an event. Yes, rules are important, I get that. However, it royally pissed me off that they didn't even know to think "hey, she's close to her delivery date, I hope she's ok".
Nope.
Nada.
Buh, bye.
You are not my mother, I don't appreciate being reprimanded for something so ridiculous. I already had to come home from the hospital STILL PREGNANT. How much more can a gal take?

This brings me to present day 2009.
I have found an absolutely AMAZING group of moms. I knew some of them from the above mentioned large playgroup, and a few of the moms have kids in Ben's preschool. It's a small, intimate group of moms that are absolutely fantastic. You know when you feel like you're doing it alone? Like everyone you know either has older, self-sufficient kids in a bazillion activities, OR they are happy-go-lucky couples and singles with no kids and no worries? Yeah, that's where I was at. Apparently all these moms did too. The ones that I have had the chance to meet have been absolutely amazing. They don't complain because they just want to sit on their butts on a picnic table while their kids play (or start complaining about the group not sitting together because some moms WANT to play with their kids). They LOVE being SAHMs and appreciate spending time with their kids while they're still young. They are exactly like me in SO many ways. I LOVE IT!!! Are there politics here too? Yeah, of course there will be at some point, I'm sure. Nothing is puppy dogs and rainbows all the time. But I feel like I am getting back some of what makes me, me again. Does that even make sense? There's a difference between venting the ups and downs of motherhood, and just being bitchy all the time. I'm a firm believer in that, if you don't like your life the way it is, CHANGE IT. So I've been increasingly annoyed with the attitude of so many of the moms in my present playgroup. Life is what you make of it, you know? After seeing so many close friends of mine experience hardships in even HAVING a family, it's hard for me to tolerate the same old BS anymore.

So, I'm going to end this entry by saying how fortunate I am to have found such a fantastic group of new friends. It's been a long time since I was able to have this level of enthusiasm for motherhood, and it feels SO GOOD!

Wordless Wednesday, part II

Wordless Wednesday

It DOES exist!

Breakfast.

That's right folks. I ate this at 8:40 am this morning. Not only was it ACTUALLY breakfast time, but it was HOT. True story. That's also full-on CAFFEINATED coffee in that sweet mug. Yep, I like to live on the WILD SIDE!

I teach, therefore I am

My mom, MIL, SIL, and BIL are all teachers in PA. I'm not sure how things work in other states, but in PA, once you put in you 2-3 years for tenure, you are pretty much guaranteed a job for life. Yes, you may have to switch grades, or teach a different subject for awhile, but you have a job. Unless you commit a crime, you don't have to ever worry about missing a paycheck. On top of that, if you were a student athlete and can coach in your old school district, psh, forget it, no one else even has a SHOT at that position. Sad, but true. My mom and MIL are even Special Ed teachers, which are probably the most stable jobs on the planet right now.

So, I get a little annoyed when employment issues come up. No one is entitled to any particular job. Job security is pretty much non-existent out here in the real world. I was more fortunate than most, because at least my positions followed the stipulations of NIH funding grants, so I at least had the opportunity for longer contracts. Of course, that was also when Bush was in office, and the only research grants he wanted to issue were ones that involved anthrax or biological terrorism. :::rolls eyes:::

Whenever the issue of searching for a new job comes up, all I hear is "well, you can't move". Really. Can't I? Jobs don't come to YOU, you go to THEM. If you have to move across the country, it sucks, but what other choice do you have? Short of someone paying us a "we want you to live in PA" salary, we follow the jobs, not the other way around. Moving is probably the most stressful thing that I have ever done, and it was bad enough moving from MD to PA with an 18 month old. I can't even fathom what a move across several states, into an unfamiliar regional culture, with TWO kids would do to a person. God love ya LB for considering a move to Texas with FIVE!

I LOVE where I live, and we built our dream home here on almost 2 acres 3 years ago when we moved back from MD. It would truly break my heart to leave this all behind, it would. But unfortunately, life sometimes has other plans for you. Sometimes being a responsible adult sucks, but you do what you have to do. We're our OWN family now, so when we make a decision, we make it together and follow the road wherever it takes us. Will we stay here forever? Your guess is as good as mine. For now, we are fortunate enough to be able to remain in Pa, but we'll never know what the future holds until we get there.

The next time we are faced with a potentially tough decision, I just hope that people realize that we KNOW it sucks, so don't make us feel even worse about it.

I'll take that and raise, please

Misery loves company, right? You can vent, commisurate for awhile, yada yada. Why is there always SOMEONE who can top you. Why would they want to? In my mind, it takes a special kind of crazy to want to appear WORSE off than someone else. But alas, 'tis true. This rare breed of one-upper not only likes to top your highs, but your lows as well.

Really? Seriously?

I'm a very liberal, openminded, tolerant person. I'm an introvert who can pretty much get along with anyone. Be their best friends, probably not, but I can put up with what I need to if the situation arises. I don't make friends very easily, but when I do, they count. If I take the time to open up to someone and things just "click", then I have your back for pretty much the rest of time.

That being said, I try to avoid certain types of people by choice. Like I said, if I'm called on to do something or work with someone, I can, but that's where the commaradarie will end. Topping my list of undesirable traits is the one-upper. I steer clear of these one-uppers like it's my JOB. Those annoying people that will always try and "beat" you, no matter what you are talking about. It's as if they can't possibly entertain the notion that everything is not about them, that they have to turn every SINGLE conversation to being about themselves. Because, you know, such-and-such may have happened to you, but "look at me, I got through it so fabulously and I had it MUCH worse than you". Empathy is lost on these people.

This one-upper trait is my absolute favorite when it's accompanied by a love of drama and a constant need for attention. I think it's annoying when you possess these traits and the first digit in your age is a 1, let alone anything higher. They always want to play the guessing games too, just like my 4-year-old. They like to allude to things, but then pull the "I know something you don't know". They pose generalized questions to try and pique your interest. GAH!!!!!!! I don't care! If you want to have a secret, fine, than just HAVE A SECRET and don't share. If you want to share, that's fantastic. Why do people like to CREATE drama? Why do people want to be in the CENTER of everything 24/7. Can anyone ever retain friendships with people like this without being emotionally drained ALL.THE.TIME?

Shopping Fun

I picked up some prints at Walgreens yesterday that I ordered online before we left for Sadie's 6 month appointment. Included were:

5- 8 x 10
5- 5 x 7
20- 4 x 6
5- Wallet sheets (20 pictures)

My final bill= $10.71.

Awesome.

That also included a 44 cent bottle of Dawn dish detergent. I love smart shopping!

Summer: Part II

It's been 8 weeks since our summer started and we have another 7 weeks until preschool starts up again. It was REALLY nice to have our vacation right in the middle, because I feel re-charged and ready to get back to my summer to-do list. I've been a total slacker the past month, so it feels good to get some motivation back.

This is where we're at:

The house is a complete disaster. The past few weeks have been a complete whirlwind of packing, sewing, and throwing random things wherever they may land. LOL!! I had such good intentions at the beginning of the summer, but obviously, I didn't follow through. I really, REALLY would like to get it together in the next few weeks. Sadie is well on her way to becoming mobile, and after that, it will be awhile until I can do what I want where, and not worry about total chaos wherever I am NOT.

Ben's behavior has been an absolute NIGHTMARE since Safetytown and swim lessons ended 2 weeks ago. The child NEEDS a routine, which I just haven't been able to establish this summer. I feel like all I do is put Sadie down/get her from a nap, and it's been hard working around that. I felt like it was crucial to establish a routine for her between 4-6 months, especially since it gets exponentially more complicated once school starts again.

I'm hoping to be able to transition Sadie's naps a little to accomodate the back-and-forth to preschool. Hopefully she can adjust to having a shorter nap in the morning, and then sleep with Ben when we get home. She's been fantastic so far at being able to go with the flow. It will be interesting having to do it 4 days in a row though. I'm hoping Brandon can take him once or twice a week, so we'll see. The fact that she doesn't take 1/2 hour+ to eat before driving each time will make a HUGE difference this year.

Avalon, NJ

We recently spent a few days in Avalon, NJ. We had a fantastic time and the weather was absolutely PERFECT! I couldn't believe it was actually July! It was in the low 80s and even cooler, with a nice breeze at the water. Amazing.

We found out while on this trip, that all Sadie needs is a floor to ceiling mirror to keep her happy.

She's a smart one though, because she still would turn around to look at us. LOL!!


Ben loved the TWO pools at our hotel (one of which was heated).



Even though she didn't get in the water too much, Sadie was entertained pool-side by her older brother's crazy antics.

It may have been the JERSEY shore, but Sadie was sure to bring along her little crab to chew on.
Ben and Brandon spent a LOT of time at the beach.



He's masterminding his next evening activity of demolishing all the sand castles left intact on the beach.

She has no idea that daddy is going to take her in the ocean!
Not so sure about this whole "beach thing".
Playing in the sand and giving daddy a little breather.
Ben showing off his sea gull feathers. The next two pictures do not even REMOTELY show the black circles under and in the corners of Ben's eyes. He played hard and didn't stop moving for 3 days straight. By the last night, his eyes were SO puffy, he looked like someone had punched him in the eyes.



Avalon is our MOST favorite place to go to the beach and it was SO much fun this year!

Pictures

Flashback Friday

Photo shoot teaser

Here is one of the pictures from yesterday's photo shoot with my brother. I cannot WAIT to see the rest of them! Unfortunately, we couldn't get any pictures with Ben. All he wanted to do was ride his Jeep around the yard. Oh well, maybe next time.

Beginning of the End

Now, I'm not sure if I really want to say this, because I know that once I do I will be eating my words.

:::so I'm going to whisper::: Sadie has slept really well the past two nights. She's been a breeze to put down and she'll sleep from 7:30 pm until almost 4 am. Then she'll go back to sleep and be up by 6 or 7. Not bad, not bad at all.

Ok, so I can talk normally now. :-) Yesterday, Sadie decided that she was going to go back to 3 naps instead of 1 or 2. It was actually a success, but only because I had no where to go. Three naps are hard to manage when you have an older child. In fact, I'm looking forward to getting down to one nap, which on most days she actually handles well. So while Ben was at Hershey yesterday, she took 2-2 hour naps and a one hour nap from about 3-4 pm. Perfection. Sleep begets sleep, because she also slept from 7:30 pm last night to 3:40 this morning. It's amazing what a few hours of sleep in a row can do for you!

Today, we decided to check out some ADORABLE alpacas.

Six Months Old

Wal-Mart: 11 billion, Me: 1

Dear Wal-Mart,

I dislike you. Well actually, hate, loathe, and detest are better adjectives for how much I cringe at the thought of shopping at your stores. You're evil. You are. Unfortunately for me, I have two kids now. Sometimes the choice between a relatively short and physically easy shopping experience, versus a day in and out of the car, outweighs my emotions. You usually win. I narrowly escape death in your parking lot, shake my fists in frustration at your horrendous check-out lines, escape death a second time trying to back out of my parking space, and end up in a pissy mood for the rest of the day. But hey, at least it's only one stop right?

I want you to know though, I'm becoming a little more savvy in my mature age. I'm starting to outsmart you. A few days ago, since I needed elastic thread, eggs, and a flower pot, I was stuck going to Wal-mart if I wanted to make my day a little easier and find all these items in one place. As usual, the parking lot was a nightmare, as was evident as I waited in line just to turn in. So I paused and thought, eh, I'll just pull in the side lot next to the nursery, since I needed the flower pots anyway. I slide into this side lot and there are FOUR other cars there. Interesting. I get the kids out, put the baby in the stroller and walk easily into the nursery.

I pick up the necessary items and head to the checkout. NIGHT.MARE. There are about 5 lanes open, out of what, a 100? I head towards a line 4 deep and the woman in the back waves me ahead of her as she sorts coupons. Hey, not going to complain. I swat my older son's hand away from the candy that is beckoning him and wait to move forward. This is when deep frustration sets in. The woman that waved me ahead in now pushing her cart in front of me because she is "ready now and is taking her place". Fantastic. What exactly about a mom trying to juggle 2 kids with a stroller screams "place saver"?

After flashing her a look of death, I yank myself out of line. I'm guessing the woman didn't fair too well after I left, because at that point there were 5 more people behind me. Good luck to her though, especially trying to use those coupons with the cashier. I make a bee-line for the door, looking for a good spot to dump my cheap crap made in China so I can get the heck out of there. Since I'm steering the stroller and my 4-year-old around numerous people in our way, I make it all the way to the door. This is when I see a register with ONE person standing at it. Yeah, I know, crazy right? I'm not kidding, I swear.

Within seconds I am paying for the items and, this is the part that really had me thinking I was in an alternate universe-- the cashier was NICE TO ME! Pleasant, cheerful, SPEEDY. You hear about this kind of experience, but you never think it will happen to you. I stroll back out to my car, which remarkably is about 20 feet from the door and that's it. Shopping is finished. When I adjusted my rear-view mirror, I SWEAR I saw the car that I followed into the lot still waiting for space, but don't quote me on that.

So, in conclusion, I'd like to say---I have my eye on you Wal-Mart. Just when you think you have the consumers figured out, I throw a wrench in your evil plot to take over the world. Mwahahahahaahah!

Sincerely,

Mommy P

Not just bedding anymore

I had a friend ask about pillowcase dresses the other day, and now I have rediscovered how much I LOVE making them! It's been slow around here, I only sold 3 carriers today, and it's the 4th of July weekend. Hell, I'll finish my work later............. So, the pillowcase dress. The idea is that you can re-use (which I love!) an old pillowcase (the older they are, the prettier they tend to be) and turn it in to a cute little dress. The nice thing about them, is that the collar is adjustable, so when the length no longer works, you can wear it as a shirt with jeans or capris. Fabulous!

Here are 3 that I whipped up last night:
This strawberry fabric was some great material from my grandmother's stash. I have about 6 yards, so I wasn't afraid to "waste" it if it didn't turn out. Next time, I think I'll leave the extra white on top and have the strawberries all the way to the bottom. I adjusted the length with a stylized hem, since my little girl is still only 6 months old.




This fabric was from the remnant section, and is a light-weight eyelet for summer. I added a little ribbon and a bow to make it really pop. Plus, I LOVE black, red, and white together. It also matches a nice set of no-slip hair clips I made a few weeks ago!

This dress is gorgeous, with brown and blue together. LOVE! This is the dress I'm going to use in my tutorial.

This dress was made with 2 fat quarters and 1" brown grosgrain ribbon. I picked up the materials at Wal-Mart yesterday:


These items cost $6. The fat quarters were each $1, the ribbon was $1.97. Now, the ribbon is enough for at least 3 dresses, so you could feasibly make 3 of these for under $8. Not bad huh? You could also use an actual pillowcase or any fabric you have. A fat quarter is simply a piece of fabric (sold with the intention of using it for quilting) that is 18 inches x 21/22 inches. They are folded in flats like above, and are usually found on the end caps in a fabric store. They range from $1 and up, depending on the designer. Since a yard of fabric is typically 45" wide x 36 inches long, a fat 1/4 is 1/4 of a yard. You will need TWO fat 1/4's for each dress.

Start by unwrapping the fabric and laying them on top of one another with the good sides touching. You can make your dress the longway, or you can lay them horizontal and make a cute top.
Next, you are going to cut the armholes. The size and shape are completely up to you and depend on the age of your child. I like to cut in about 4" and curve it slightly into a J-shape. Do this on both sides.


Next, you will sew both side seams, with the good sides still facing in. You can hand sew or machine stitch these dresses. The ideal would be to surge the side seams to prevent fraying during laundering, but a straight stitch will still hold well.


Folding the armhole edges in (you are still working on the wrong side of the fabric), sew the fabric over and roll hem the edges. You will fold over twice, so that the raw edge ends up completely on the inside of the hem.


Do the same roll hem (folding over twice and sewing) along the top edge.


This next step can be tweaked a little, depending on the width of the ribbon used for the top ties. My ribbon is 1" wide, so the casing for the ribbon needs to be this same width. Fold the top over (working on the wrong side again) and sew along the same line of stitching that you just sewed for your rolled hem.



Now you have the casing for your ribbon ties:


Cut the desired length of ribbon (I used 18 inches). You will need two equal-length pieces. The length is a personal preference, depending on how broad the child's shoulders are, and how much extra ribbon you want hanging down after tying the bows. Pin a safety pin to one end of the ribbon and feed it through the top casing.


Almost finished! Now, you can leave the ribbon ends straight across, or cut a V into the center like I have done. Cutting on an angle is also pretty. You can heat-seal the ends by exposing it to a flame for a few seconds. This will prevent fraying.

Tie the ends in a bow and VOILA! You have a really cute pillowcase dress!

A slight variation on this, would be to cut the sides at an angle, so the finished product has more of an A-line look to it. You can also adjust the width to add a little more flounce to the dress.