Do it like they do on the AMC channel.

I've spent my entire adult life at war with gender stereotypes. I even have a BS/MS in Molecular Biology/Biotechnology (minor in Biochemistry) to support my desire to prove to the world that anyone can do anything, even (gasp) a 4'11" 90 lb woman. From the beginning of time, woman have been fighting for equality in every aspect of life. Now, in 2010, I think we're pretty damn near close. Of course, until men can carry a growing human in a uterus for 9+ months, I'd say we've finally come out on top. Deep down, in the pit of my stomach, and behind all those wheels turning in my head, I've fought tooth and nail to NOT be a stereotypical woman. I'm stubborn. Really,............REALLY stubborn. There's nothing wrong with doing all those stereotypical "feminine" things in life. Seriously, someone has to. And when it comes down to it, who really does it better/correct, right? But I fight my own personal demons when I do them, because I feel like the second I succumb to all those "menial" tasks that society gives NO acknowledgement for, that I've somehow disappointed all the woman before me that had no choice. I feel that actually wanting to do all of those things, somehow makes me less of the woman that I thought I was. Yeah, you get me, I know you do.............. So I look at my house, and my kids, and my new found LOVE for creating and designing things with a sewing machine, and think, DAMN do I actually LIKE this stuff? WHHHHAAAAATTTT?!?! But I'm not supposed to right? I mean, I'm supposed to want to grab back my career in neurobiology, put my kids in expensive private schools, and say "screw you world, I'm an intelligent woman with more balls than most men and if someone wants clean socks then they can go wash them themselves!". Part of me actually feels ashamed sometimes that I don't mind feeling like Betty on Mad Men once and awhile. That's not right. Feel ASHAMED of being a good mom and wife? Now, what kind of a person do THESE feelings make me? And in the midst of me fighting the feeling of dependance on another person (my husband), I neglect to realize that the perpetuation of this lifestyle that we live would be IMPOSSIBLE without me. Literally. Brandon's present job, and potential career advancement is contingent on the fact that he travels sometimes 4 out of 5 days in a work week. Without me, could he do that? Absolutely not! Do you know of any Daycare that has a 96 hour dropoff "day"?!? So, where does this leave me? Well, in 2010, my #1 New Year's resolution is to say F*** you to all those annoying people that look at me with regret and pity when I tell them that I'm a SAHM. Five years is long enough to STILL be feeling any tinge of guilt towards my fantastic new career. As enjoyable as perfusing mice used to be, 20, 30, even 100 years from now, no one will remember one single "menial" lab task I did in the 4 years I worked in neurobiology. What WILL still be evident, is the commitment I had to showing the next generation that the success of the feminist movement isn't in the prestige of a job, but in a lifetime of endless possibilities.