Land of the Lost

I'm really anal about keeping pieces to toys together. I mean, what's the point of a toy if one of the parts is missing, right? A stupid thing to be worried about I suppose, but when it takes me two hours to find the pink pit car that Ben NEEEEEEDS to have, it's worth my time and effort every day to make sure everything is with it's other "parts". And I'm not going to lie, that whole issue of resale value is there in the back of my mind when I can't find the ONE piece of sushi missing from the Melissa and Doug set. Who wants a sushi set without the ENTIRE California roll, you know?

So I'm cleaning out the toys in the playroom in the basement..........and the family room, and the kids rooms, and the kitchen........ you get the point. Every time I get to the end, I end up with this pile of completely random pieces that only the photographic memory of my 5-year-old can remember where the hell they belong. You know, all those pieces that end up thrown into a toy bin at the end of the day that you only "remember" when you actually dump it's contents out every few months? Included in this pile are also all those toys that come with kid meals from restaurants that we like to pretend we NEVER go to, but frequent at least once a week. Those toys. So I look at this huge pile of randomness and realize that even the youngest members of the family have accumulated way too much "stuff".

Any time I clean out ANYTHING, I always end up with this pile of stuff at the end, that is kind of junk, but you don't want to throw it away because at one point you probably spent a lot of money on it. But if you don't throw it away, you have to find a place to store it, because who wants someone's else's baby powder votive from a baby shower? Stuff that, 2 weeks from now you'll try to put something together and be glad you didn't throw out the "super secret, one of a kind allen wrench that ONLY works for it's super special piece of furniture it rode with in the box".

Why do toys come with so many parts? Seriously. WHHHHHYYY?!?!

For example, yesterday, Ben got a General Grievous figure in the mail that I found on Ebay. Ok, so after I wrangle the damn thing out of, not only it's skin piercing plastic blister pack, but a bazillion tiny clear rubber bands holding him in a death grip for fear of tiny shoplifters, we see this figurine with TWO light sabers and a hand gun. Alright, it's Star Wars, they fight with some weapons. Ok. I get it. So after I scream "don't you dare remove that last rubberband that is keeping that gun permanently attached to his hand" (seriously, I was quite passionate about keeping him completely intact), I go to throw away the packaging. I hear this rattling sound and pull out the "decorative box" inside. Hmmm, what do we have here?

SIX MORE GUNS IN VARIOUS SHAPES AND SIZES.

WHAAAAAAATTT??!?!?!

Why does General Grievous need SEVEN guns and TWO light sabers? Please, explain this to me. I would like to know. Even when he turns into "robot Grievous" (or whatever you call it when a make believe character in space transforms himself into a different formation), he still ONLY HAS FOUR ARMS. Nine minus even four, is still five. FIVE lonely, extra weapons that have no limbs that can hold them.

Why dear Lord in heaven must Mattel TORMENT me with MORE RANDOM PIECES.

Because you know where these tiny pieces of plastic shrapnel are going to end up right?

Yep, in the pile 'o random lost crap. Of course, this is AFTER I step on them at LEAST 40 billion times while trying to compose myself enough not to scream slurs of profanity.

And then I'm going to have to figure out what to do with them, and who they go to, and wait, do we still OWN General Grievous in the first place?

My conclusion in all of this is: Toys should come as they are. No extra pieces, no parts not PERMANENTLY attached to the original entity. And IF there must be extra parts, please, please, please let them have velcro/magnets/rubberbands to KEEP them together. My central vac would greatly appreciate it.