How did I get here?

When I opened Blogger right now, my playlist randomly picked "Godspeed". As I sit here with my mind wandering back 6 years, it is only fitting that THIS is the song that is playing.

March 24th, 2005. What a crazy day.

It was my last day at work in a neuroscience lab at the University of MD School of Medicine. I was frantic to have my calendar of mice matings set up through July, because it was my last day of work before my maternity leave started. It was my last day of work since. It was a lot of running around, a lot of preparing, a lot of "hiding" all my reagents and protocols so they wouldn't be contaminated by RNase or in complete disarray when I had planned to return. It was a lot of emotion as I said goodbye, but such a relief to go home and have 10 days to "relax" and prepare before my son arrived (due April 4th).

When I walked out that door, I never imagined how much would never be the same.

I had an OB appointment that afternoon, to which I left STILL "only" 1 cm dilated. Cool.

We went to our Bradley class (which we still had 2 more left after this one) from 7-10 pm, where we found out one of the other couples had gone into labor that afternoon. What I didn't know at the time, is this woman and I would spend a lot of time together in the next few weeks as we navigated life as new moms. Crazy how life works sometimes.

When we got home, we watched some TiVo'd American Idol. Yes, TiVo existed in 2005, and yes, once upon a time we ACTUALLY watched AI.

We went to bed, I got comfortable, and right around midnight started to drift off to sleep.

Well, until I was jolted awake by my water breaking.

The next moments were a blur. Trying to wake Brandon resulted in him screaming and bolting out of bed because he thought someone had broken in, I tried jumping the shower, and walked around standing on bench paper from the lab as I continued to leak. We called the doctor, finished packing the bags, got in the car.

I remember this moment right as we were on the Towson exit over 695 where I realized that I was going to have a baby today. March 25th, I was going to have a baby.

It's funny what moments stick with you for the longhaul, and what memories just fade away. Changing tv shows on Nick At Nite, the amazing nurse that was holding my hand, Brandon pushing against my back, the gradual increase in light outside the window as a new day began.

It feels so long ago. A lifetime ago. A third of a childhood ago.

I feel like we've lived a lifetime from that moment. All the memories before he was in them almost seem as if they aren't real.

We HAVE lived a lifetime since that moment. HIS lifetime.

How much that little boy has changed my life.

The little boy who slept on my shoulder. Who could fit in my lap. Who I could carry in my arms.

The not-so-little boy who tells my I'm pretty in the exact moment that I feel that I'm not. The not-so-little boy who can take away all the stresses of a day with one hug. The not-so-little boy who for every minute, of every day for the last 6 years, has touched my life in a way that I didn't think was possible.

Six years worth of moments have passed before my eyes.

My son turns 6 tomorrow.

My son turns 6 tomorrow.